Hey sup peeps~~~!!! Oh yes I remembered my previous post was on Jan which is like 3 months ago. Today I'm going to share about what makes me feel horrible. So far now, my relationship with family is fine, my studies is going fine too. But what's troubling me now? FRIENDSHIP PROBLEM! I can't seem to grab hold one or two good friends that are willing to be with me every time in school. Probably I'm not pretty,not popular, too quiet and reserve to hang out with. That could be why people doesn't want to be close to me. Sigh, what if my characters change to which a couple of people will like to hang out with me. Ha, I know I sound sooo desperate for friends. Actually no, is just that I felt that everyone in my class had already found their own friends and also clique. Except like me and maybe also one or two. And the one or two doesn't want to be with me, weird huh? I really don't understand, I believe they can feel they're not really welcomed by people yet they still want to hang out with them. SIGHHHH!!! Am I really that BAD until like this? Personally I think they every single person is selfish, they one think about their own good but not others. Why can't them make others equally happy too? Why can't they let you,me,they,we happy?? Now I can say that(among girls) they don't have a very kind heart. Maybe only a few only. And not all of them dare to actually express their true thoughts for fear to get kicked out by their clique. I really really really want this misery in school to END SOON! But how long exactly is the 'end soon'? No idea at all, I hope I can predict the future of mine. Is the god now giving me a huge test for me to take? Perhaps.. Whenever when we need to line up in two, everyone will rush to partner with their friend. And me, the leftover that no one want to pick. I can only like partner with another poor girl which get hate by the like WHOLE girl I guess. So should I call myself lucky? Maybe just luckier than that girl by a little? I feel like I am so super pathetic in school, seriously. I can guarantee that those girls got talk behind my back saying "You know right, P. is such a loner" or "She is like a follower.." blah blah blah. Snake's tongue is not the deadliest, but it's the human's mouth. Get what I meant? Maybe I can only find better friends when I graduate from sec school, which is like 2 or 3 more years. Oh gosh, it's soooooo long! Okay I hope that I will be able to stay strong and overcome this HUGE OBSTACLE! Will god help good person or will god help bad people? I hope JUSTICE WILL HELP...! *pray that this fucked up prob will be OVER!* PS: Currently feel so frustrated now. FML, FML & FML! _l_

♥ Thursday, April 25, 2013

You fucking bastard, you're the one who hurt me deeply. And now you still dare to blame everything on me? I was wrong on you, thinking you're a nice guy, but I am wrong. Forget it, I gave up hoping you will turn your back and apologise to me. I will try standing on my feet soon, to prove to you that I won't be easily get beaten down by you. Cause I realised it's not worth it at all. I make sure YOU REGRET! And I also deeply understand what does it mean by "Don't judge a book by its cover", cause it may look good on the outside, but who knows inside might be deadly rotten. Yeah, I know that I promised you guys that I will continue the previous story(when "I" was deeply hurt by a teacher I HATE, but now I'm really busy studying. So yeah, I will tried to find time to write part 2!

♥ Sunday, January 13, 2013

I used to be a kind,sweet caring girl. But, suddenly everything had changed. I mean I didn't choose to became like that. Going to a secondary school, is like a brand new start. New school, new classmates, new friends, new teachers. I was happy with everything at first, until THAT person came into the classroom. Yes, she's none other than the GOOD teacher, MS NG. I don't have any bad impression of her at first, since we haven't communicate yet. But as days goes by, things started to change for the worst. She like always picking on me, judging me, criticize me and everything she could find to trouble me. I bear with it at first, hoping this will stop, but it didn't So, I changed into another person. I'm now a rebellious girl and had a broken heart inside me. Friends around me are shocked to see me like that and some of them asked me what happened. I said " Well, teachers are suppose to be fair and good right? But we DON'T have that kind of form teacher. She's the one who changed me." But my attitude is still the same towards everybody, except HER. I dread the most by going to school is seeing her and attending her CRAP LESSONS. Unknowingly, I will have no energy to listen and was doing my own things Like listening to music with my earpiece, scribbling things on my books and sometimes talk to people sitting beside me. I just don't want to look at her and listen to her lessons. I thought that it would minimize my hate towards her, it worked out at first. Then, she walked towards me and pulled out my earpiece and scolded me in front of everyone. I ignored her, pretending that I can't hear her. What she said next is worst, " Hey,I can't believe I have this kind of rotten student in class!If you're not interested, get out of my class. Don't waste everyone's time!" I stare at her so hard that she might die. If only look could kill people. I stood up and replied "Me? Rotten? Oh please, ask yourself who did this to me? You can ask those who'd know me earlier that I'm NOT like this!" She smirked and said " Oh come on, be sensible. Are you trying to blame me? If you're not that useless you think I would pick on you?" So, she just admit that she DID pick on me. I seriously couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed my bag and dashed out of the class. I went to the washroom and broke down into tears. Great, now my heart have a huge deep scar, made by HER. I managed to stop crying and climb the stairs to find somewhere quieter, I don't care if I got caught by other teachers. I just don't want to see HER. After a while, one of my friend, Jesslyn, she came to comfort me. I was really touched. She told me" I know you don't wish to be like that, but because of all those pressure that you couldn't handle. But don't give up, there's still people who cares about you" I just smile at her, so I won't cry. She had to go back to class and I was being left alone again. I was thinking of skipping school the next day, but my parents doesn't allow. So I dragged my feet to school and had my lessons. Every time it was HER lessons, I would quickly slipped away and hide somewhere else. And when her lesson end, I would secretly sneak back to class. I mean I am still interested with study, I just hated that teacher and her lessons. PS: All the above I'd wrote is just a story I'd made up. I will continue if I'm free. Inspiration goes to my dream, I just want to continue it by my imagination. Bye, if you like this, do drop a comment on my blog inbox.

♥ Sunday, December 30, 2012